Syd here! Back with another blog. Today's topic is "It is okay to suck at things or be just okay at things" Lol. I am slowly but surely learning it's okay to not be the greatest at something or maybe even dare I say it.... suck at something. As long as it brings you joy. We are all searching for the things in life that make us feel joy and peace. Once you find it don't let it go. I feel in the past I have given up when I think I am not good at something or the result isn't coming out the way I wanted. Although the things I feel I am bad at bring me the most immense amounts of joy. So why would I stop? My point is... You don't! I am still learning how to not be so hard on myself. We all have to start somewhere. We are all our own harshest critics so chances are you are better than you think you might be. The hobbies I have been picking back up that I feel I am not the best at are painting and dancing. I love both of these things. Dancing is such a fun way to express yourself and I have always loved it since I was just a wee little girl. Unfortunately, I stopped as I got older because I never felt I was good enough and it was always about being perceived as good; never about the act of dancing and how much fun I have doing it. The same goes with painting, I have always enjoyed it but when the results didn't come out exactly the way I wanted I would give up, as I felt it reflected me and my self-worth. When in actuality it has nothing to do with it. To sum it all up: make bad art, dance badly, and sing off-key. If it makes you happy continue it, chances are you will improve without ever even noticing and how fun will it be to look back on when you are old and grey. Moving on; I have had quite a crazy last week of my life and it feels like it is never-ending. I really need a vacation, somewhere tropical or just somewhere far far away from Manhattan... Like upstate or something. I am in dire need to hug a tree. I love this city but damn is it draining. Everything is happening everywhere all at once. I think a break would give me some much-needed perspective. The only problem that comes with leaving this city; even for a day, you feel like you miss everything all at once. It is a give-and-take. Well to get back to my day-to-day I lately feel like everyone I know and love is going through a lot of rough patches. I wish I could fix it all. With one press of a button and POOF, everyone's problems would disappear. I know that button doesn't exist but it sure would be nice. (someone should get on that fr) It is hard seeing people you love in pain but all you can do is be there, so I am trying to just be there. Anyway, I started new meds: I am no longer on a niche medicine that no one else is on. I am now just like other girls. Hehehe. I am a part of the Zoloft club, but we will see how long that lasts. It seems to be working. my brain is empty. No thoughts at all. Might be a little concerning? Not sure. Stay mofo tuned. I am working on the fashion show at the moment, and it is so much work. Hopefully, tori and I will get our shit together by April. Still working on blowing up and acting like I don't know nobody. Slowly but surely as they say. It will all pay off. I know it will. I am trying to be so delusional that I end up successful. That brings me to the nuanced topic of success and what it even is. It is such a subjective thing and everyone has such different definitions of success but as of now, I am not where I wanna be. I am immensely proud of all my successful endeavors but I am not done. Not yet. I have a lot of dreams. So I will continue to make my bad art, in hopes of one day my bad art will take me to the top of the world. So I leave you with that. I love you all and thanks for reading. I will talk to you all soon.
Baiiiii
Xoxox - Syd
Comments