Blog post entry #9: "Tired, Drunk & Romanticizing"

The theme of my Saturday night, to say the least, You bring two girls who write melancholy poetry together and add some red wine into the mix = arguably some pretty bad decisions. As most of you know I have a bad habit of romanticizing things/people for no reason. (refer to blog post entry #4.) Nonetheless, I made some questionable decisions last night and decided to act on impulse along with my friends cheering me on. Not a winning combination I must say. In despite of that I happen to feel I liberated myself from all embarrassment, so maybe this is a positive thing. Don't quote me on that. Unfinished is the word stuck in my brain: I am trying to come to terms with things that feel unfinished in my mind but are finished in actuality. Although my perspective is the only thing keeping me stuck in this unfinished mindset. I will make it through... Moving along, Halloween is this weekend aka My favorite holiday ever...!!!! Valentine's day also happens to be a close second. I love seeing everyone dress up and really make the most of the holiday. I find it even more interesting when people are dressed up in super niche costumes you wouldn't understand based on by just looking at them. A perfect conversation starter. I love throwing parties and bringing people together so in light of this amazing holiday I am going to have a Halloween gathering (or party if you will). I am planning on being Angela from American Beauty also known as Mina Suvari, the only celebrity look-alike I identify with. I have gotten some pretty questionable ones before not going to lie... Joey king being one of them. No offense to her she is gorgeous I just don't happen to think we are a match but I digress. Unfortunately, Halloween doesn't feel as exciting as it was when I was a kid with all the tricking & treating and anticipation of that faithful day. I am now looking at it as a fond memory of my childhood. Hopefully, as a young adult, I can make some more memories I am fond of that I can look back on in the future. Just as I do with trick or treating. I am planning on inviting new friends and old ones (mostly new) so we will see how that plays out. My badass friend Rosa is DJing though and I am looking forward to dancing all my problems away. I will keep you guys updated with the aftermath of said function. I am getting worldofmyown samples back this week and I am so excited to finally be back pursuing my passion... Writing has been an amazing creative outlet for me lately and I don't plan to stop anytime soon but my true passions lie in photography and designing so I feel very excited to be creating new things for you all again. I lose my steam every once in a while but I feel I'm finally out of that creative block. I do happen to feel more settled in my new life but I still feel slightly out of place sometimes and have a lingering feeling of inner loneliness. My mom says there is an inner loneliness feeling that stays for quite a while when you just move to New York and so far her theory is correct. I am Trucking along though, slowly but surely. Navigating new relationships in young adulthood is time-consuming and sometimes difficult but interesting & rewarding as well. More effort is required than I initially expected. It isn't like when you meet on the playground and you become best friends instantly. There are more layers to friendship as you age and a lot more circumstances that come into play. Something I often live by is that your friends are a reflection of you or you are your friends.... Birds of a feather flock together or some shit like that. A tad cliché but it is the truth (also I love cliches they make life more fun hahaha). That is why I think I try to be conscious of who I am letting into my life & the inner workings of my brain. Just a reminder to keep your energy sacred and be wary of who you let in. By no means am I saying to be closed off just be mindful. That is all on my mind + a little update... What is everyone being for Halloween this year? Comment on this post & let me know, or message me or don't tell me at all. Whatever floats your boat.

Okay -

I love you guys

Xoxo/SydDDNEy

Me & Tori drunk off our asses (shot by the lovely val)